I found this article when researching some stuff for this site…

http://www.feminist.com/resources/artspeech/genwom/hotflashes.html

It's about Mother's over 40.. one bit really stuck with me and really resonated..

The following are the issues that surface again and again in support groups, and which provide the framework for this book:

**Older mothers may enter perimenopause soon after giving birth, and the developmentally appropriate needs that surface for her at this time are often at odds with the developmentally appropriate needs of her young child. This is what I call The Clash of the Titans.

**The older woman who gives birth in her forties undergoes a rapid and potentially disturbing shift in self-image, from, “I still feel and look like twenty-nine and I'm ready for sex” before childbirth, to “How can this be me crawling to bed at nine p.m. in my flannel pajamas?” In many cases, the mothers of her child's friends are ten to fifteen years younger than she is. She feels tired and bedraggled by comparison, and often struggles to maintain her self-esteem and sense of desirability in a culture that worships youth.

**Older mothers often feel forced to choose between a career they have cultivated for decades which may now be in mid-bloom, or staying at home with a much anticipated child. This is significantly different from the younger woman who may have worked for only a few years before starting a family, and has much less time, identity and meaning invested in her career.

**Older mothers are often sandwiched between caring for their elderly parents and meeting the needs of their young child. Too often, there's no time or energy left to meet their own needs, and the support their elderly parents might have been able to offer a decade ago is no longer available.

**Because the chances of successfully conceiving decrease with age, many women who postponed having children until their forties are now resorting to a variety of infertility treatments. While the literature focuses on the cutting edge advances of these technologies, the emotional, psychological and financial repercussions are often overlooked.

**Increasingly, older women are turning to domestic and foreign adoption as a means of becoming parents. Many of these children are from cultures light years different from ours, and are often old enough to have suffered abuse and neglect.

** The psychological and physical demands of successfully ushering a teenager into adulthood are enormous, and no matter how well she takes care of herself, an older mother will be in her 50s when her child is a hormone-driven adolescent.

I thought these were great issues to have brought to light about the different challenges of having babies later in life.  I thought the articles was a really great read.. (don't be put off because it's on a feminist site!)

I am also trapped in being an older mom and taking care of my mother for more than a year now lying in bed. It's hard to imagine how to go through the stages, but acceptance and preparations to any consequences could help soften the burden. Afterall, the smiles from each faces of the ones I'm looking after are enough to look on a brighter side.

“Women are most fertile between 17 and 25. Over the age of 40, one woman in three will have trouble getting pregnant. It's not always the woman's fault and theirfore she should take it in a good stride.

Its definitely not a sin to be pregnant post 40!!

I personally feel that having children later on  has helped me to share my life experience and wisdom (if I dare call it that!!) with them.  I would really have struggled at a much younger age, and whilst I might not be as physically sprite like as I might have been a few years ago, I'm lucky in having a supportive husband to help.  I think that more and more women are now able to enjoy more facets in life - we simply have more choices available!!! and in doing so are also making more informed decisions on when and if they want a family. 

Of course, there are many positives, but I think that it could be comperable to being a younger mother too. Is it ever the right time to have a child, is there ever a right time to be ready? Truth is, there are always going to be obstacles to being a mother - we just have to learn to deal with these obstacles throughout or daily life, and adapt! Older mom, or not - there are great ways to deal with it, like forums, like this where we can all interact.

LOL Kay.. I must admit that that photo is a leeetle bit old. 

I agree that financial stability makes a big difference.. I know that when I was younger and struggling to pay the rent it would have been really hard to have had a child at the same time.

Now we are in our own home and that makes it easier.. (even if the house is the size of a shoebox!) it also means that I don't have to think too hard about buying a cute little outfit I might come across for the baby.  Just one less thing to think about I guess.. I saw a couple of kids yesterday.. I'm they looked around 16 or 17?  with a tiny baby.  I'm sure that is much harder financially.. I know if things get really bad I can hire a sitter and have a night out.

I just found myself hoping that they had a good support system and parents who lived closeby and were willing to help.