I am often criticized in my refusal to promote the imaginary childhood characters with my kids … I don't do Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, or the tooth fairy.  And by “don't do” I mean, I don't promote their existence.  I do not take my children to see Santa or the Easter bunny, I do not tell them that these creatures come into our homes to leave gifts or hide eggs, I do not promote them in ANY way … in fact, I go out of my way to avoid them.

I do this because of my own personal experience, but mostly because I don't believe in setting up my children for disappointment later in life.  I know that there are few, IF ANY, cases of real trauma when a child learns that Santa is NOT real, but from my own personal experiences, I just find that it's not necessary.

What do you think? Do you particpate in this, or will you with your children?

When I was still believing in santa, I had two friends that I was very close to.  We all went to see Santa together, and we all three asked for the same thing … a barbie dreamhouse.

I was no better or worse behaved than these two girls, we spent all of our extra time together and our families were very close.  The only difference between the three of us was that their families had money (enough to afford a $130 toy), and my family had little.  Enough to make the holiday nice, but not enough to blow all the money on one gift.

Needless to say, they got the barbie dreamhouses they asked santa for and I got a lot of nice toys, but no dream house.  It was that year when I was told the truth about santa.

Now, fast forward to my middle daughter's 5th easter.  Keep in mind, I choose not to participate in the imaginary, but in the same respect, I cannot control what my children pick up from other kids and in school.  My middle girl had a friend that told her to make a wish every night at bedtime and the easter bunny would bring that wish on easter morning … so when she came down stairs to a basket full of toys I knew she would love, she burst into tears because of the secret wish she had made, that I knew nothing about.  All of the same feelings I had on MY christmas came rushing back, and I felt the deep heart break that my 5 year old was feeling.

So while I don't claim to be traumatized by it all, and I am sure she will grow up perfectly fine … I still find it a lesson that doesn't NEED to be learned in that way.  My daughter “knew” that the easter bunny wasn't real, but her friend believed so fully that she thought it might be true.

And honestly, my girls are still excited over the gifts on christmas morning, even without the delusion of santa and his sleigh full of toys.  I don't think the magic is in the stories and make believe … at least in my house it isn't.  The magic comes in the togetherness of family and the love we share when we pick that “perfect gift” for someone … and my girls are VERY involved in our shopping for others and the giving spirit.

It's a very personal thing, but one that hits close to home when you tell a child to behave all year and then “santa” will bring you toys.  I have a friend that uses that idea to threaten her children to behave … she tells them that santa won't bring them anything if they don't “settle down” or “stop fighting”.   Or my aunt, so tired of my cousins arguing one winter day, pretended to call santa and report their behavior while the two of them sat and cried!

All children are going to misbehave at one time or another, and I want mine to notice it on their own and behave correctly because it is the proper way to act.  It kinda runs along the lines of religion … people who behave a certain way because they fear god or hell … why not behave because it is the right thing to do?

… but of course, that is a different subject for another day